maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
