Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
