4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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