You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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