At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
