the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
