: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize