I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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