So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
