he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Can you bring me the toilet please
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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