Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
