why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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