Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
