would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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