I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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