i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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