Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
