Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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