Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Randomize
