I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
