Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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