so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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