Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i was born a porn star she said
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
