Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
