it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
