come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
