literally had 100 drinks last night.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
