I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
