I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
