dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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