How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
