your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
