Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
