yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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