Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I am one with the molecules
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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