Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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