Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
