dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Randomize
