I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
