Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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