he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
