She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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