5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
