i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
