the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
