I wish I could teleport
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
