My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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