No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
