the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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