Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
