she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
